jordandoucette

Can't breathe through my nose at all now. Thats with taking medicine to help with the congestion and stuffiness. I think I need an antihystamine, but that would put me to sleep and we have company coming over.

My nose is so bad that even standing or sitting up isn't helping. Anyone have a suggestion? Doing the liquids, tried steam, hot bath, shower, tea.... I'm beat! I wish my head was clear enough to get some homework done. :-/

Although this isn't about another death, I couldn't think of a subject for the post.

This extends to Ethan whom has left this world.

http://www.kitsapsun.com

They have been covering the story. They are removing any harsh comments on the articles that do the blame game as it has upset a lot of the family members. The point is a child has died by a freak accident and it hits us hard to lose a child. Especially one that was so bright, respectable and outgoing.

The topics if you search are 7 year old boy injured by exercise equipment, another about the actual death at a fitness center and the newest one on the main page recalling how wonderful he was.

I'd like to thank everyone for their support. I've never seen our family become so depressed and stressed out over death like this. This incident has hit us hard and we've all been so tired, unable to sleep, barely eating and aren't even picking up after ourselves. You can tell how miserable we are, but our friends and family have been there for us to help out and we can't stress our thanks enough to all of you.

Love

December '07 - My Mere-mere (grandmother) old-age/kidney failure
January '08 - Jake's Grandfather - cancer
February '08 - Tray's Grandmother - cancer
March '08 - Jacey McWilliams - murdered
June '08 - Aunt Sandy - suicide

And now October, Jake's newphew Ethan whom was only six years old has died.

The grieving process ensues, but the jumbled amount of deaths has turned my head into much chaos to the point I feel numb at times.

It sucks. They told me if I was still having pain on the medication to give them a call for something stronger. I did and they tell me thats the strongest and don't think they can give me anything else, but she will ask when she sees the doctor just in case.

How nice.. Now I feel like crap for even asking.

My big problem is that I puked. So it caused me to strain some muscles and made it ache more. I was just going to try and deal with it, but the current med is also giving me a throbbing headache whenever I take it as well.

My arm is itchy also. The one that had the iv for stuff. I put some hydrocortizone and that seems to be relieving the itch. I had some -what looked to be broken capularies? Those little red dots on your skin. In a few places. It could have been because I keep scratching though. They didn't say anything about a rash or itchiness from the anesthesia so I dunno if I should even bother to mention it now. Considering they really don't seem to care.

Oh yeah, the care at Heywood Hospital isn't that great. I had some trouble waking up from the procedure, but the nurse kept shaking me cause they needed to get me out so someone else could have the room. Which is why I think I got sick in the first place. I wasn't ready to be awake and told to eat and drink something. I went home, walked from the car to inside and I threw up. Had massive shakes and pain and everything after that. Quite traumatizing. Actually, whenever I attempt to think about being in the hospital and what happned, I get massive anxiety and panick attacks. Maybe thats normal?

I mean, everything went well otherwise. So I was told. But to be rushed out of the hospital like that. I think thats the thing that bothers me the most when I think about it. The nurses kept saying that they needed the room for someone else and they needed to get me going. Who the hell rushes someone when they just had anesthesia. Oh yeah, go take care of yourself at home. At least I was in my own environment in agony. Believe me, it was not a pretty sight. I intend to complain when my head is much clearer.

Crap, I think I am traumatized from the experience. I don't even want to visit for my preop or see my regular doctor... Hopefully it'sjust the meds giving me that anxiety before they fullow kick in and make me go to sleep. The current thought of it makes me upset.

My paperwork states that my surgery is Friday. They just called me to confirm it for tomorrow. I was given the wrong date. I will be out of commission as of tomorrow. For how long, only time will tell. Love.

edit...

Oh yes, Jake had a wonderful gallbladder problem this weekend. Well, they think it's that or his liver. It's a good thing we didn't go up to NH. He was in quite the bit of pain!

Katie and Chris are now married. They surprised us this morning. Well, we found out when we got back from the doctors.

And I get to go on a random girl's night.

Surprises galore!

Watched two new movies recently.

December Boys and Driving Lessons. Driving Lessons is waaaay better than December Boys and I couldn't stop laughing. I think it's because of the Brit humour. I love it!

Fill it out in a comment, if you dare! Mwuah ha ha ah haaaa!

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

2) What was your dream growing up?

3) What talent do you wish you had?

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

5) Favorite vegetable?

6) What was the last book you read?

7) What zodiac sign are you?

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

9) Worst Habit?

10) If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?

11) What is your favorite sport?

12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

16) Do you have any pets?

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

18) What was your first impression of me?

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22) What color eyes do you have?

23) Ever been arrested?

24) White or red wine?

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

26) What's your favorite place to hang at?

27) Do you believe in ghosts?

28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

29) Do you swear a lot?

30) Biggest pet peeve?

31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

33) Do you believe in God?

34) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Some of the best moments in my life have been spent within the company of good friends.

Today, Tray, Rin and I got together and spent an unusual amount of time together. We even went to a bar for the first time with just the three of us. It was a bit odd at first, and of course it's a Tuesday, but the night held high expectations for cherishable moments with friends.

He said he set it up Thurs at 5pm. The exams run in increments of 24 hours. After that, we can't take it. I mentioned I wouldn't be home by then to even take it and other people expressed their discontent and job issues too. So he said he would redo it and set it for midnight tonight. Well, it's not there. I can't find it on the site. So if there is some fluke with me and other people could take it, I will get a zero unless he can fix something special which he said he wouldn't be able to.

Anyway, I don't think he ended up setting it up at all. At least, thats what I am hoping. I e-mailed him asking what to do and I haven't gotten a reply as of yet.

I have two sections of math to finish and to go over those questions in CIS that I skimmed the book to answer correctly. Other than that, my work is complete. I copied all of chapter 1 to works and printed out charts. I wrote down important facts as well. The exam is open note and I can only take it once. So I can look up the answers which is nice. I find that it helps drill it into my head that way. I did take the short quiz without notes and got a 100. Yay! I'm hoping a good majority will be multi choice. I don't mind typing stuff in, but it's just annoying after a while.

Funeral went well. Jake is avoiding everyone... Even me. He doesn't want to spend any time with me until I can't spend time with him. It's upsetting.

I'm gonna go make some tea me thinks.

I keep hearing about wonderful books that people are reading. It's inspiring me to read something but I don't know what. I like things that are well written and that I can relate to. I guess I'm more picky about how something is written though.

Anyone have any suggestions to get me started?

My Mere-mere(grandmother in Canadian French), passed away today.

Dad and I went to the hospital. My aunt, uncle and cousin were there. Dad said his hello and sent his love. She was still alive at this point.

I told her who I was and that we all loved her; that I love her. I then said goodbye. She squeezed my hand twice and then just held onto it. I wanted to tell her it was okay to go, but it did feel right.

After a while, dad got uncomfortable waiting. I had a feeling we should stay, but we went anyway. I decided to grab a book and talk to dad about how it was important and that his sister needed him now. She wasn't trying to push him away. He agreed. He said he didn't want to let go and asked God to take his mom if it was his will. We then went to my dad's so he could get some money in case we stayed there longer. His sister called just as he was on his way back down. We drove up to the hospital. Dad asked on the way if I felt like she had passed. I said yes. He said he didn't feel any bad vibes, but I told him not feeling any means that the connection is gone. Hense, she has passed on. We we arrived, we found she had just passed away. Her sister told her that it was okay to go while we were gone.

My aunt felt bad because she couldn't tell her mother that. I noted that it probably wasn't meant to be said by her. It needed to be said by her sister.

I'm glad she went in her sleep. I feel so sad for how sad everyone else is.

Her best friend was there with her when she went... How do you watch your best friend die? It just made me ask myself a lot of questions.

I needed to write this down right away so I wouldn't forget. Her life left an imprint in my own.

I am woozy. I've been taking a nasal spray every night like the doc wanted. Now my neck is wicked stiff and my sinuses are swollen. Maybe I just need longer to get use to it? You know that feeling when you eat too much and you try to swallow... It hurts and tenses your throat? I'm getting that on the left side but it's when I breathe in and out. Awkward!!

I need to pick up some things for supper, or decide to do the full out grocery shopping. Either way, I have to pick up the math book and start working. I didn't do it last weekend and we've been running about I haven't had too much time. Plus, other people haven't been making supper or taking care of the house when I have college so I come home and have to deal with that.

Mere-mere doesn't look too good. I saw her yesterday. She's being moved to a nursing home for rehabilitation purposes. However, if she doesn't get better, she'll have to stay. She doesn't like that idea, but she said if it happens, it happens.

My final draft for my essay isn't do for a whole week. I only have math and some computer stuff. Computer is easy. Math is just tedius cause I have to make notes in the margins and stuff. Like PEMDAS and formulas.. Sooo much fun (cynical).

Anywho, I think Jake is almost ready to go shopping so I'm off for now.

I'm off for a cleaning today. Yay, happy teeth. They kept rescheduling me and canceling due to emergencies, not to mention, giving me the wrong dates and times. How do you screw that up? Come on!

College is going well. I need a tape recorder for one of my classes, which I can't afford. I may ask my dad to get it for me. It has to do with school, so he should oblige.

My appointment is for 11.... It's not too far away. I have to go to Winchendon after to pick up my mom and bring her to dad's shop. We're looking at a new vehicle. 2007 chevy cobalt in pain-staking red. Yeah, not the red I like, it's too bright. I wish it were black! I want it to be black. I'm mostly seeing if I can get cheaper payments than what I have now because I have some credit history. I am quite hopeful.

This is still new to me; learning about credit scores can be a pain. Plus, you get those situations where you need credit, but can't get anything to help you get credit because you don't have any... WTF? Been there, I know it sucks.

Well, lets see. I'm getting two A's, an A/B+ and currently a C. The C is a lecture class about New England History. I get told we should be learning from a book, but I never liked history from a book. I always asked too many questions about history and that is exactly what the professor in this class does. He asks why!! Yes, I am defending him. He said if I wish to rewrite the essay for a better grade, or just to talk history with him, I am more than welcome. Right now, I'm considered an ass-kisser. Which I don't think I take to heart all that much because it's true. I am a people pleaser and I need to stop it.

I am so very proud of Tray! I hope to join her some more once my schedule becomes a bit more steady. My biggest issue is I can go ahead with class work. However, the professors end up changing their minds about certain things, which causes me to redo stuff.

Eh. I should get some socks on and get ready to go. It's about 10:33 right now. I'll write some more later. Hehe!

Harry Potter. Midnight showing. Maybe a trip to Denny's as well. Tray rocks!

No hot water. Again. I'm pissed.

After spending some time at the gym and venting on lj, I feel better. I think the gym really helped because I got some aggression out. I was there for an hour, spent 10 minutes in the sauna and enjoyed the amazingly hot showers we have.

Someone has been parked in our spot for two days and a night. We assumed it was the normal idiots and ticketed them. Then we complained to the office since they hadn't even got the ticket or moved their car this morning. It was only later that we found out a visitor had parked there and had a heart attack. She was then rushed to the hospital and was unable to move the vehicle. The person who this lady was visiting didn't bother telling the office any of this until they were finally able to contact them and have them tell their visitor to move the car. By law, it's restricted parking. The office gave them until 6pm to move it or it would be towed. I don't know if it was towed or not cause I wasn't watching for it. However, the car is now gone. The people who live here were in a ruckus because we complained. If they had left a message with the office about their visitor having to go to the hospital, I think we would have been a bit better about it, but they didn't. They were home too. They didn't go to the hospital. They had plenty of time to let someone know what was going on.

No gaming this weekend. Gordon is stressed out and needs some time to cool off. Especially since Danny is at his mom's till tomorrow night.

I borrowed some movies from my dad for Jake and I to watch.

I was invited to Katie's, but I don't feel like driving after the workout. We're suppose to go to Sam's and then Jake's dad's house tomorrow. Which only gives us the morning to ourselves. I was thinking we may not go because of the gas issue. But then I thought it might be a good idea. I'll use what I put on my card to compensate and hopefully I'll get some shows to make up for it this month. I would love the $103 to pay off my glasses. They're prescription sunglasses basically. I have a really hard time with light because of my astigmatism. I read up on it and how it can be helpful to wear sunglasses so I checked with my optomitrist about it and he agreed and said it would be a good idea. It's not that my eye-sight is any worse, I just don't want it to get worse. I'd rather take precautionary measures now. Hopefully I won't need surgery or have to get a newer prescription every year. Though if I do, I'll be able to say I did as much as I could to prevent it. Then I can just blame it on genetics. Lol.

So... No world of warcraft for a while. I'm kinda bummed about it. Which means I'll need to play a bit before the account expires. *sigh*

Well, off to watch Eragon with Jake and then sleep. I'm really tired.

Oh!

Tracey got the mula for the mortgage and the car payment. YAY! Woo-freaking-hoo!

... That I feel incredibly horrible if I buy something for myself?

I bought jeans on sale. I was in dire need of them too, but I feel like a yutz because we can only afford our medicine now and thats it.

So, I won't be able to do the show on the 18th in Manchester. :-(

Aside from all of that down-side stuff, I've been feeling a lot better getting out of the house and as far away from Danny as possible.

Now that I'm home I feel like shite again.

Between excise tax and my new glasses money has been tight. Not to mention, not many shows in the area right now. Jake did start calling and we'll hear back from some people soon I guess. I dunno. I'm really not liking music right now. People want to hear whats on the radio and I really don't care to learn any of that crap. Otherwise, they want techno stuff or a dj so they can dance. It's weird how no one dances to bands anymore. Like there's something wrong if you dance to someone playing a rocking tune or holding you're partner close to a slow ballad.

Whats wrong with people?

I feel as though I missed the last train and now I can either walk to the next station or stay right where I am. The thing about being alone, no one's really there to motivate you.

I think others know my best qualities better than I know them myself. I need someone to take a few moments and tell me what they are because I've truly lost sight of myself.

Why am I still sitting here? I should really be out somewhere else where I don't feel so down. Maybe I'll go hit the sauna for a while. I could use the relaxation.

Non-stop running around....

I've had to go so many places today. Everytime I would go out, I'd miss phone calls and then I'd have to play phone tag and the waiting game with people. Then I'd have to go out again and miss phone calls.

Danny came home and got into things. He knocked over garbage and didn't pick it up. Stuff is strewn about everywhere, all the lights were on. I'm leaving it as is so Gordon can clean up after his mess or make him clean it when he gets home. If supper is late, it's not my problem. I'm not going to clean up someone elses mess just because they're too lazy to do it.

Which is exactly what my therapist suggested I do. Especially since I'm really overwhelmed.

Jake is sick. He's getting meds to make him better.

I'm exhausted and need sleep. I've got to stay awake tonight so I can handle tomorrow nights show.

I left my glasses at therapy. Had to go back and get them. Blah. Too much running around.

And the phone...

The Name Game

1. YOUR SPY NAME: (middle name and current street name)
Elizabeth Central

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy)
Lorraine Hershey

3. YOUR RAP NAME (first initial of first name, first three or four letters of your last name)
A. Dou (doesn't sound that great!)

4. YOUR GAMER TAG: (a favorite color, a favorite animal)
Red Panther

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Elizabeth Gardner

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Doubat (no pet) This is different from the one I did a long time ago. It ended up as Douam Batgar. First three letters of your last name first 2 or 3 letters of your first name, last name is composed of the first three letters of your mother's maiden name and the first 2-3 letters of the town you were born in.

7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Htebazile Redlehctab

8. PORN STAR NAME: (first pet's name, the street you grew up on)
Jo-Jo Court (you're kidding me, right?)

9. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile your dad drives)
The Red "?"(he doesn't have an automobile!)

10. YOUR ACTION HERO NAME:(first name of the main character in the last film you watched, last food you ate)
Tenchi Fajita (I suck!)